Most Days Okay Was Enough
by kiwibrazilian89
Summary: Auggie seems to have learned to cope with being blind but what happens when Annie gets too close to him after a particularly bad day, triggering all his defenses - Can their friendship recover? NOW COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Read and review still trying to decide whether to continue with this.  
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**Disclaimer: I sadly don't own Covert Affairs**

Auggie sat on the couch, leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees. Head in hands, his shoulders hunched over towards the floor as if he no longer had the energy or desire to support himself. His breath's came erratically, chest heaving as the emotions he had been pushing away with his sarcastic humor for the past 3 years finally overwhelmed him. Everyone knew him as the witty Auggie Anderson, former special operative, now the blind head of Tech Ops at the DPD. Charming, pleasant, perpetually drinking coffee. As far as anyone else knew he had dealt with his emotions regarding being blind and had learned to be content in spite of it. What they didn't realize was that any serious injury or illness was not something that could just be 'dealt' with. Sure, he had rebuilt his life from the ground up, surrounded himself with people he could trust, and made sure he was the best in his field at the CIA. Usually he was okay. Most days okay was enough.

He had tried so hard to avoid falling into the 'victim' role after going blind. He had worked hard to regain his independence. He had done whatever he had to do to avoid needing anyone. Well, at least since his first year of being blind. But that was a dark time he did not want to think about. Ever. He had tried to blank it out of his memory.

He wasn't sure what had triggered the breakdown today. All he knew was that no matter how hard he tried to hold himself together, once in a while life got too hard to cope with. He had made it through the day at work somehow, taken all the blind jokes and responded with a halfhearted chuckle. His usual cynical smile had remained super-glued to his face. No-one had seen through his charade.

As soon as he returned to his apartment after work he had made his way to the fridge and removed the first six pack of beer his hands encountered. Throwing them down on the table in front of him he had turned up his stereo to full blast and fallen unsteadily into this position on the slightly overstuffed black leather couch at the side of his living room. As the sounds of OneRepublic washed over him he allowed the pain to take over. He knew he was spiralling, knew he was allowing himself to be weak, knew he should pull himself out of this state before he lost control. Right now though he didn't want to be strong. He was tired of lying to himself and pretending like everything was fine. Everything was different. His life had been turned upside down. Once in a while he deserved to feel sorry for himself. He lifted his head for long enough to down a bottle of beer, tossing it carelessly to the ground once he had emptied it.

The truth was that he lived every day with the knowledge that if he had chosen Natasha over the CIA all those years ago he would not have lost the love of his life, then lost his sight. But he had made the wrong decision and he would never be able to change the past. It was his own fault he was blind. Payback for the way he had broken Natasha's heart in his own drive and ambition to be the best CIA agent on the field. He had treated her like she was nothing more than a sideline in his life, thinking once he had achieved what he needed to in his job he could pick up where he had left off with her. He had realized too late that people were all that truly mattered in life. Seeing Natasha again a few weeks ago had brought up so many memories of what life used to be. Carefree, fun, reckless. He had thought he was invincible. He had loved Natasha but he had never let himself need her. He had never fully let her into his life. Now he was haunted by what if's from the past. What if he had told her the truth that day. Would it have changed anything? He wondered if he would ever get over her.

He slammed his third bottle of beer onto the table a little more forcefully than he had anticipated. Pulling at his hair in frustration he realized that the beer was not helping at all. Usually he would just go charm a pretty woman at Allen's into coming home with him but in his current state they would just be in his way. He couldn't be bothered with the facade tonight. The smiling, the lying, convincing another faceless woman that he cared about her. If he was honest with himself he was not sure he would ever care about anyone except himself deeply again. He only had enough emotional energy to get himself through the day without falling apart, nothing extra to give to anyone else. Even as that thought crossed his mind, the scent of grapefruit came to mind. Annie Walker was the one person who seemed to cut through every pretense he put up in self defense. Drinking alone wasn't making him feel better. Maybe drinking with Annie would help. A small voice at the back of his mind told him that using Annie to make himself feel better was not a good idea, but he mentally crushed that small voice. She was his best friend, of course she wouldn't mind being there for him.

He picked up his phone and pressed #1 on the speed dial.

"Hello?" Annie's voice was groggy and confused as she mumbled into the phone. She had clearly been asleep. Which made sense given that it was after 10pm.

"Annie, can you come over, I don't wanna be alone right now." Annie frowned at her phone in confusion. Auggie never asked for help. He was the strong one she had always turned to when she was falling apart. This was definitely an odd reversal of their roles. Tonight he sounded vulnerable and lonely.

"I'll be there in 10." Although confused by the late night call and the unfamiliar tone in Auggie's voice, Annie didn't hesitate to throw on a coat and drive straight over to Auggie's place. He was her best friend and she knew he would have done the same if she had called him for help.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Auggie, or Annie, or Covert Affairs. **

**A/N Please let me know what you think, good or bad :) **

Annie knocked on the door of Auggie's apartment.

"It's open," came Auggie's voice from inside. He sounded miserable. Something was definitely wrong. Annie turned the handle and walked into the pitch black apartment.

"Any lights in this place? I realize that some of us don't need them but I'm really one of those girls who likes to keep the lights on." Her voice had a slight teasing quality, but she soon realized Auggie was not in the mood for their usual lighthearted banter.

"Left-hand side of the door." Auggie's words were short and clipped. When she hit the light switch she turned to see him gazing in her general direction despondently. There were dark shadows under his eyes as if he had not slept in days and he had clearly not shaved in a while either judging by the darker areas on his face. The glimmer of humor his eyes usually held were missing entirely, replaced by a cold, bitter, anger. She hoped that anger was not directed at her. She hesitated for a minute before closing the door behind her and taking a seat on the opposite end of the couch from Auggie. Usually she felt completely comfortable around him but this was a side of her best friend she had not seen before and she did not know how to predict his actions.

"Auggie...whats wrong?" Her question hung in the air for a while as Auggie tried to decide how to respond. Usually he wouldn't unburden these sort of feelings and thoughts on anyone but it was Annie – if anyone could accept whatever he threw at them, it was her. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Lifting his head from his hands he turned to her and laughed. Not his usual lighthearted chuckle, this was a hard and angry laugh. It scared her.

"Everything! My whole life! This was not what I wanted it to be. And there is nothing I can do to change that! No matter how hard I work people like you and Jai are always going to be the ones who get the exciting field work handed to them on a silver platter and I'm stuck behind a desk trying to imagine what it would be like to feel that rush of adrenaline again. I'm trapped Annie. Trapped in a body which has turned against me and refuses to work. Trapped in a position that was never what I had dreamed of spending my life doing. Trapped in the walls at Langley doing the same insipid things each day, researching and handling other people while they get to live the life I wanted. And I'm sick of it. I can't do this anymore." By the end of his speech Auggie was standing in the middle of the room, body turned towards her, yelling. Annie flinched at the frustration in his voice, and his open jealousy of the experiences and field work her and Jai were able to do cut her personally as she felt his anger at least partially directed at her. But he was her best friend and he needed her. She stood up and put her hand on his arm.

"Auggie. You are the best handler any field agent could ever dream of. I know its not what you had wanted to do but we couldn't do our jobs without you. I need you when I'm out there, having your voice in my ear is the only way I can convince myself to keep going when op's go wrong. You are the best at what you do and everyone respects you for it." Auggie threw her hand off his arm. Although part of him wanted nothing more than to pull her closer.

"It's not enough. Not anymore. I want to be out there in the field protecting you, not sitting in the air-conditioned office drinking coffee talking to you while guys like Jai storm in and rescue you. You're my best friend and if anything ever happened to you it would be completely my own fault for not being there. I hate being so useless. I hate that you're out there doing field work and I'm grounded like a rebellious teenager. I have to sneak out of Langley and go behind Joan's back just to get any action. I don't want to do this anymore. I just want to quit my job and go do something fun with my life that does not involve earpieces."

He dragged her out of bed in the middle of the night to tell her he was leaving her? Annie felt her own hurt feelings begin to rise. After the way Ben had treated her there was no way another guy was going to get away with abandoning her.

"Seriously Auggie, pull yourself together and stop throwing a pity party. I'm SORRY you can't have the life you had imagined, but just for the record, things aren't so easy for the rest of us either. You're being selfish. I need you when I'm out on the field but hey, apparently that's not enough for you. I'm not enough for you. So why on earth did you call me in the middle of the night saying you didn't want to be alone when all you want is clearly to push away anyone who could possibly make you feel less lonely? I'm your best friend, I'm not your therapist. Stop using me as your emotional punching bag. I'm going home."

Annie stormed out the door leaving a furious and bewildered Auggie standing in his living room wondering what had just happened. His already hurting emotions combined with the beer in his system and he yelled after her,

"Fine, be that way, I just wanted some sympathy but I guess that's too much to ask for from my best friend. In fact, you know what, screw you, you were only pulled from the farm because you could pass for a call girl anyway. I'll just find someone else more willing to comfort me." He heard Annie's footsteps stop in the hallway, heard her gasp in shock at the words he had just thrown at her so carelessly, then her patented kitten heels clicked quickly and angrily to the elevator as she left his building without saying another word to him.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Thank you so much for the reviews so far :) You guys are great. Please continue to let me know what you think :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of Covert Affairs or the characters.**

Chapter 3

Auggie groaned as his alarm clock insistently announced that it was time to get up for work. He slowly opened his eyes to the usual black as his mind started to churn sluggishly. Something felt wrong, what had happened last night to make his head pound like this?

Oh.

Memories of his fight with Annie hit him like a piano to the head. What had he been thinking, the six pack of beer he had imbibed was no excuse for yelling at any woman, let alone his best friend. He rarely lost control of his emotions - in fact, the last time that had happened had been that dark year after he first went blind. He had thought he was coping alright but apparently all the suppressed memories were starting to push through the cracks in his defenses. He had been struggling last night but when he called Annie all he had had in mind was talking through the memories that were haunting him, not having a complete emotional meltdown and directing it at her. That should not have happened.

He was livid with himself for hurting her, as an experienced and fully trained CIA operative, losing control of his emotions was not only reckless but could get someone killed. A definite liability in his line of work. It left him and anyone depending on him open and vulnerable.

He was not sure why Annie brought up so many conflicting emotions in him, he was her handler not her boyfriend, but her words of the night before had cut far more deeply than anything anyone else had ever said to him. _"I'm your best friend, I'm not your therapist. Stop using me as your emotional punching bag." _The words drove daggers in his mind. After trying for so long to be strong all the time, he had slipped into the role of victim. He had let himself need someone, uncaring of how he impacted her in the process. He had been selfish, and he had hurt her. She deserved so much more from a best friend.

Annie was the last person on earth he had ever wanted to hurt. But the loss of his sight had left him deeply broken. The lack of vision was merely the surface layer of the damage inside. His emotions were fragmented and compartmentalized. There were parts of him which would never heal, parts which lashed out anytime someone got too close. Wounds that were still as fresh and raw as the day they had been inflicted.

Part of him embraced the pain and bitterness – it was his only tie to his old life, and he was not ready to let that life go. It was the reason he was constantly striving to get back out on the field. The reason he had started dating Liza Hearn as an off-the-record op. It was the reason his life was a revolving door of faceless women. He did not want to deal with the devastation inside. He would do anything to get his old life back.

For now though, he was an emotional train wreck. No-one should have to deal with someone so damaged. She was better off without him. He sighed and got out of bed. For her own sake he would keep away from her, give her space to heal from their argument. After his outburst the night before she would probably never speak to him again anyway. If she did, he would stop being selfish and tell her she needed to find a new best friend. It was the only way he could stop himself from hurting her more than he already had.

As he pulled his carefully labeled and textured shirt out of his wardrobe he draw in a deep breath, steeling himself to face the day ahead. He took two preemptive ibuprofen and walked out of his apartment, turning off the lights Annie had left on when she stormed out.

"Well, here goes nothing," he thought to himself sarcastically as he pasted on his charming smile and got in the cab.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Auggie/Annie...and anything else Covert Affairs, does not belong to me. **

Chapter 4

Auggie spent the day trying to avoid running into Annie. His team spent the day trying to avoid him. His usual witty humor had deteriorated into pure caustic sarcasm, which was promptly directed at anyone foolish enough to approach him with a question he deemed unintelligent. Stu made the mistake of asking what was wrong. It was not an error repeated by anyone else that day.

Annie sat at her desk trying to concentrate on the translation Joan had assigned her that morning. Languages came easily to her, and intellectually this translation was not hard, but her fight with Auggie last night had left her reeling, and she was struggling to concentrate on the job. She thought about the first time she had been upset and run to the CIA bathroom in tears. Auggie had followed her and asked if she was okay. He hadn't believed her when she said she was fine. He was the one person who had always seen through her smile and charm to the brokenness and insecurities underneath. He had always been there for her regardless of what she threw at him. She thought about when she had come back to the agency after her last mission, she had been so scared and vulnerable. He had been the only person honest enough to tell her she was being paranoid. But he had not left it at that, he had also made sure she knew he cared for her deeply. Last night however, he had not come running after her to comfort her. Instead he had been the one causing the damage.

She thought of the times he had ended up in trouble because he had been protecting her.

"My problem is that I like you...I can see now its going to lead me straight to treason." He had been angry with her that day – nothing like the fight last night, but she could hear the same tension and frustration in his voice. Her problem was that she more than liked him. He was her best friend, and she did not want to do anything to damage that, but she couldn't deny that she had noticed how gorgeous he was - even while he was tearing her to pieces with his words. The more she thought about the words they had exchanged the more her instincts told her not to give up on Auggie yet. He had been hurting and inebriated last night. He would never intentionally hurt her, she was sure of it. But her certainty that he truly cared for her underneath all his harsh words did little to mitigate the pain he had caused. He had asked her to support him but she had not been strong enough to be the support he needed. He would not have lashed out at her if his pain had not been too much for him to handle by himself. He had needed her – and probably still did. He at least deserved a chance to explain.

With that settled in her mind, she was able to concentrate on her work long enough to get through the day. As soon as she was done, she walked slowly down the hall to Auggie's office, her heels clicking loudly on the solid floors, alerting Auggie to her approach. She took a deep breath before walking into his office.

Auggie's head snapped up as he heard Annie's heels in the corridor. He sighed heavily - he had hoped to put off this confrontation for a while but clearly Annie was not going to allow him to get away with avoiding her.

"Auggie?" Her voice sounded so soft and vulnerable. He felt his heart contract at the sound. She had no idea how much she really affected him. He was still not comfortable admitting it to himself. They were friends, nothing more – and given the events of the previous night he was not sure he even still had her friendship. He took a deep breath in and stood up to face her, arms hanging loosely by his sides as he left himself open for whatever she chose to throw at him. He deserved anything she said to him at this point.

"Can we talk about what happened last night?" Annie continued. She smelled so good. All he could think about was how much he wanted to pull her into his arms and apologize and tell her how much he cared for her. But he couldn't. He needed to make a clean break between them, she was better off without him. He was too damaged to let her near him.

"Annie there isn't anything to say. Clearly any friendship there was between me and you is over. I'm sorry for the things I said to you, but you are better off without me. I'd just end up hurting you again if we stayed close." He could hear tears in her eyes as she replied.

"Seriously Auggie, after everything you're just gonna stand there and tell me that you don't want me to be part of your life?" For once Auggie was glad he was blind. He could hear the pain in her voice and he knew if he had been able to see her he would not have been able to follow through with his decision.

"I think it would be better if we only related on a professional level. It would be safer for you. I can't let myself hurt you again." Although the tone of his voice was cold and detached, Auggie's chest was heaving and his eyes were squeezed shut as he spoke. Annie had been top in her class in deception training, but the training was not even necessary to see that Auggie was clearly at war with himself, and she had no idea why. He was choosing to push her away and seemed to think it would hurt her less, but what could possibly be so bad that it would hurt her more than his current actions. Nevertheless, she also knew that he was stubborn and that trying to force him to open up to her would merely backfire. So she let him believe he had convinced her.

"Okay, fine. If that's what you want. We're done. I'll speak to you next time you handle one of my missions Auggie." She turned and walked out of the room, successfully containing her sobs until she was out of earshot of Auggie.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N – I won't let them hate each-other forever, promise. :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Covert Affairs**

Chapter 5

Joan was well aware of the tension in her department. Usually she ignored office gossip but the rumors swirling of a rift between two of her best agents had her concerned. She needed both of them to be at the top of their game for their next assignment and a stand off between her field agent and handler would definitely complicate things. Auggie's team were treading on eggshells around him - one of the interns had actually started crying a few minutes ago. Annie Walker had been snapping at Jai with more ire than usual all day. They were usually two of her most personable and approachable agents and the entire DPD atmosphere was suffering from this fight between the two of them. On a more personal level, Annie and Auggie reminded her of her own relationship with Arthur as they started out. Two strong, independent, and ambitious people in a relationship could make a wonderful team, but building a relationship would also be fraught with difficulty as compromise was not something their pride would allow. They were both as stubborn as mules and determined to stay angry longer than the other. There was no telling how long this standoff would last and she did not have the time to wait.

She needed Annie in China in regards to a suspected traitor in the American Navy headquarters there. There had been 56,000 microchips sold to the American military last year which were recently discovered to have backdoor coding which would have allowed the Chinese military to shut down every American weapon utilizing their technology. They needed to know who had been trading the military information without authorization that had allowed such a travesty to occur.

Auggie would need to be feeding Annie tech information throughout her mission as he was the best technological mind in the department. A rift in Auggie's relationship with Annie could put the whole op at risk. A communication breakdown on such a critical mission was not an option. She put on her iciest face and called both Annie and Auggie into her office.

"Sit down. Both of you." Annie had seen this expression on Joan's face once before - right before she almost fired her in fact. This couldn't be good. Auggie recognized the tone as the one Joan used when someone failed on a mission. It was usually followed by her telling them to pack up their desk and get out. Joan continued. "Now, I don't care what you do in your personal lives, but when it starts to interrupt the running of my department it becomes my issue. You need to be able to work together professionally on your next mission without complications and clearly there are some major issues between you two right now. You have the weekend to sort your differences out or we will be having a much less pleasant discussion on Monday morning. You are dismissed."

Auggie could smell Annie's grapefruit scent wafting towards him. It was the first time all day he had been in the same room as her and it was driving him crazy. He hadn't meant to get her in trouble, he had been trying to protect her from his destructive influence. Apparently he had failed at that too. He had been awake all night the previous night trying to convince himself he had done the right thing. He had to let go of her, she deserved to be treated so much better than he could treat anyone.

All the memories of his first year of being blind had finally come flooding back. He had done so many things he wasn't proud of – most of them involving women. He had been angry at all the sighted people in the world – felt entitled to anything he wanted – they owed him anyway. Everyone had merely been another notch in his belt, proving that he still had it. He had spent months convincing girls he loved them only to lose interest the minute they fell for him. He wasn't sure he was capable of being in a relationship anymore, he had been alone and self-sufficient for too long. His feelings for Annie threatened to topple the emotional wall of cards he had built around his heart. Her words could cut straight to his core and tear him to shreds, or, if he allowed her to, reach through all the damage and put him back together. To be that vulnerable to someone again terrified him. He wanted to burn all bridges between him and Annie to destroy any chance of her getting too close to him. That was the only way to protect this life he had built for himself. So why did it feel like every time he pushed her away he was hurting himself more than he was hurting her? He had to get out of here, being in such close proximity to Annie and not being able to take her into his arms was torture.

Annie looked across the room in time to see Auggie's jaw tighten and his lips set into a firm straight line. He nodded curtly to Joan before turning at a perfect 90 degree angle and walking out the room. At times like this Annie was reminded that Auggie had once been a highly specialized soldier. She could still see his muscles clearly defined through the thin material of his shirt, he had obviously kept himself rigorously in shape. He was also not about to tell her or Joan what was eating at him.

Annie had tried to reach out to him, but he had pushed her away twice. It was his move now.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Aw love how many of you are following this story :) Love hearing your thoughts and opinions on how things are going between Annie and Auggie...how do you think this is going to turn out? **

**Disclaimer: Still not mine. **

Chapter 6

Auggie was at home. On a Friday night. There was definitely something wrong with this picture. He had considered going to Allen's but somehow without Annie he couldn't be bothered. He hadn't realized just how much he would miss her company on a day-to-day basis. He had thought he was doing the best thing for Annie's sake by pushing her away but the more he thought about it the more he realized he had simply been preemptively pushing her away before she had a chance to leave him. She had tapped her way into his life the minute she walked into the CIA with those kitten heels, and the more time he had spent with her the more he felt the driving urge to protect her from anyone and anything who tried to hurt her. Except that right now he was the one hurting her.

It was killing him to keep her at arms distance but something kept holding him back from opening up to her. She was too important to him, he could not mess around with her. He needed to be sure he was ready to jump in 100% before he could let her into his life again. He thought about the way he would feel anytime she was around. She was the one person who had been able to immediately appreciate him for who he was, instead of treating him as the blind guy behind the desk. He had laughed so much more since she arrived at the DPD. Even in the middle of a stressful mission hearing her voice on the other end of the line made him smile.

He loved the way she so effortlessly made him feel whole and complete again. Sometimes he swore she had simply forgotten he was blind, it was just one more of his character traits to her, not the defining factor in their friendship. She made him stronger. If he dated her she would be different from all the other girls. He didn't want to use her to make himself feel better or prove anything – he simply could not imagine his life without her. He was scared to trust himself, but the more he thought about it the more he realized that the chances of him losing interest in her after a few months were slim to none. She only saw him as a friend, she was the girl he couldn't have. Well...at least he had thought so, but sometimes he wondered if she felt something more for him too. Ultimately, he was just plain scared to tell her how he felt. So he continued to shut her out and keep her at arms distance. Joan had demanded that they sort things out by Monday morning, but he needed more time to figure out how to make things with Annie work. He knew he had hurt her deeply and it would take longer than one weekend to fix the damage. For now he would need to find a way to just smooth things over enough to get her through her next mission without endangering her. So he dialed her work number choosing to go straight through to voice mail. For now there were bigger fish to fry, his feelings for Annie would need to wait.

Annie lay on her bed and stared at her phone in disbelief and listened to the voice mail Auggie had left her one more time.

"Annie. We have to act like everything is okay to get Joan to calm down. I'm fine working with you on a professional level regardless of whatever is happening personally between us, are you? Let me know." If that's the way he wanted to play this then fine, she could be just at detached as him. Outwardly at least. She had tried to be understanding, tried to convince herself that he did care about her but was going through a hard time – wrong. He had quite simply lost interest in her. She had thought he was her friend, but like every other guy in her life it appeared he had simply been playing a game to get her attention. Now, just as she started to realize how deep her feelings for him had gone, he seemed to be done with her.

The worst part was that she had let herself trust him completely. She had believed him all those times he said she was important to him. She had laughed at his revolving door of women, believing that she was different, that she meant more to him than a one night stand. Now it seemed that she had simply been his fallback girl for when he didn't have anything better to do with his time.

Every girl had a limit though, even as a friend. The voice-mail was the last straw. She was done with him. She would work with him but he would never have the chance to get close to her again. She had been through enough already, she wasn't about to let herself get messed around by yet another guy. Although he would still be physically present, he had emotionally abandoned her just like Ben. In a way it was almost worse because she would still have to see him everyday at work. She would never let him see how much he had hurt her though. He didn't deserve that kind of power. She was stronger than that. She deserved to be treated with respect and deserved a guy who would make her feel special, not see her as his second rate option if there were no pretty girls at his favorite bar that night.

Annie listened to the voice-mail one more time then sent a text to Auggie.

"No problem."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Give them some time **

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything. Covert affairs belongs to someone who is definitely not me. **

Chapter 7

Monday morning rolled around far too soon for both Auggie and Annie. Neither of them was excited about the prospect of facing each other. Trying to convince Joan that the tension between them had been resolved was not appealing either.

They had greeted each other politely as they entered Joan's office. Nodded, and offered the correct civilities. Sat in their usual seats next to each other. To the casual observer it would have seemed like a professional greeting between friends. They smiled cheerfully at each other and no-one except the highly trained Joan would have noticed the lack of warmth in their eyes. It was Joan's job to know everything about her agent's, so within seconds she had surmised that all was still not well between them.

Auggie was tense, frustrated, and on edge. She had seen him this way a lot before the day Annie Walker arrived at the DPD. He had been much happier since then. Until the past week. It didn't take a genius to figure out that his change in mood was related to Annie. Everyone at the DPD had been able to tell that he liked her, a lot. In fact, many of the other girls in her department were fiercely jealous of Annie because of the way Auggie instinctively turned towards her anytime she walked into the room. She wasn't sure he even realized he was doing it.

Annie was harder to figure out. She had been hung up on Ben Mercer for quite a while, to the point where Joan had stepped in and had a little chat with her on the subject. She hoped that that would be the last time Ben Mercer complicated her life. Annie had coped with a lot over the past few months but this fight with Auggie seemed to have hit her harder than everything else. Joan had seen how close Annie and Auggie were but perhaps it had only been recently that Annie started to admit her feelings to herself. Although still immaculately professional, the dark circles under her red rimmed eyes made it clear that she had been crying herself to sleep, when she could get any sleep at all. She hoped some space would allow both agents to process whatever was going on between them.

"Auggie, you are off this mission, Stu will be handling Annie." Auggie looked indignant and downright offended.

"What? Why?" Joan had plenty of reasons why. Primarily, it was that she knew how stubborn Auggie could be and he always had reasons for the actions he took. Auggie clearly still cared more about Annie than he was allowing her to see. Currently though, he seemed hell-bent on pushing Annie Walker as far away as possible. Given the way he had been acting so standoffish towards her lately she had a sneaking suspicion he needed to realize just how much he would miss her if he was successful. Of course, it would do no good to tell him the full reason why she was pulling him off the mission. As curious as Joan was about whatever had transpired between her two best agents, any resolution would need to wait until Annie was safe. Stu was good, not as good as Auggie but right now he was her safest option. Thankfully, Joan was much better at hiding her true thoughts than either Annie or Auggie. Her face was inscrutable as she replied to him.

"I told you to sort things out with Annie not pretend like things are fine. You are an emotional risk to her right now. I don't want you to have any contact with her while she is gone."

"God I love my job" he muttered sarcastically under his breath before striding out of her office.

She briefed the team on the mission, and sent Annie to catch her flight.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N Thank you so much for the response to this story it's been lovely :)**

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned it, but I don't.**

Chapter 8

The next few days were hell for Auggie. He strained his ears for any tidbits of information, listening attentively every time Stu received a phone call, trying not to ask him how Annie was more than a few times a day. No matter how hard he tried to concentrate on his work he struggled to focus without getting distracted by the thought of Annie adjusting to her undercover mission in China. He missed the familiar sound of her heels clicking down the DPD hallways. Those who watched carefully might have noticed Auggie drinking energy drinks incessantly. His fists clenched and unclenched every few minutes until his hands were bright red from his nails pressing into his skin. He responded to everyone with a short snap of sarcasm and within a couple of days everyone left him alone. He preferred it that way.

He was furiously jealous of Stu being allowed to handle Annie for this mission. As far as he was concerned, Annie was his own personal field agent and no-one else should be allowed near her. His only consolation was that Jai Wilcox was nowhere near Annie either. Thank God for small mercies.

He was fine. He would talk to her when she got back, and sort everything out then.

Fine, that is, until three days into Annie's mission, when a young brunette intern informed him that Annie had missed two key checkpoints. She hadn't counted on his reaction, she had just been passing along office gossip and thought an interesting tidbit might gain her a moment or two of attention from the most eligible confirmed bachelor in the department. She was wrong.

"Joan!" Auggie walked straight into her office without bothering to knock. "Why did I have to find out about Annie missing her checkpoints from some ignorant intern trying to make small talk." Joan almost smiled at the concern in Auggie's voice. She had been right, he was head over heels for Annie. Her urge to smile was mitigated by the reality that Annie was missing on foreign soil and she had no leads. That part she was most definitely not okay with.

"Auggie. You aren't her handler on this mission. When there is something to know, we'll tell you. She's a highly capable agent. She will be fine." Auggie raised one eyebrow and narrowed his eyes in an expression of pure disbelief and disgust.

"I have a right to know what's going on. Regardless of the state of my relationship with Annie. I need to know she's okay. What was the last we heard from her?"

"You're overstepping your job description right now Auggie. You don't have a right to know anything, she's a CIA agent on a highly complicated mission. You are not her handler on this assignment. You have your own work which has been piling up on your desk for days and I do believe you've missed a few deadlines of your own. I suggest you focus on what you need to get done, and leave Annie to those actually assigned to her."

"Heh. And just when I thought this job couldn't possibly get any better." This time Joan did smile at his sarcasm, glad he couldn't see it. Auggie turned to leave her office but she couldn't resist teasing him slightly.

"One more thing, Auggie." He turned back towards her and paused. "Don't ever walk into my office yelling at me again." His overdeveloped sense of hearing caught the slight smile in her voice as he relaxed slightly and smiled back at her. Although behind the smile she meant what she said.

"Yes, Joan." He knew that deep down she was just as worried as him about Annie, and that she would spare no resources to get her home safely.

That knowledge didn't help him over the next 24 hours while they waited for Annie to contact them. Auggie didn't leave the office. He couldn't. He needed to be there the minute they found out what was happening with Annie. He realized many things during that time. That the girl who sat in the office next to him had a really annoying accent, that the coffee beans from the most recent batch of coffee in the DPD cafe had been over roasted, and that he most definitely did not like Jai Wilcox. At all. Although the last realization was more of a renewed sense of annoyance than earth shattering breaking news.

When he finally received the news from Joan that he had been waiting for, that Annie was safe and that Clandestine services had found a way to extricate her from what had been a harrowing and compromised mission, he was so on edge he he almost hugged Joan. At that point, however, Joan did order him to go home and not come back to the office until he had had at least 12 hours of sleep.

Annie had requested to go back to her apartment directly from the airport and debrief over the phone. The mission had been hard for her and she needed some time to process by herself. Auggie had no intentions of waiting until the next day to see her. Her flight landed at 7pm, he waited only long enough for Joan to give him the all clear to go see her. He'd be waking her up, but he couldn't sit around feeling like the worst best friend in the entire world any longer. It was time for him and Annie to talk.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I just couldn't wait to post this chapter so double update goodness for you all :) **

**Disclaimer: Nope...still don't own it.**

Chapter 9

Annie sat up suddenly in bed, wondering what had woken her. The question was soon answered by an insistent knocking at the front door. It was 1am and Annie was unaware that she had invited anyone over. The banging at her door continued though so she got out of bed to yell at the insensitive person who thought 1am was an appropriate time to visit.

"Annie, please open the door." Auggie? What on earth was he doing here.

"No!" she yelled back at him. No. No. No. No! He did not get to just walk in and out of her life on a whim. If he wanted to talk to her he better have a damn good reason.

His voice came through the thick wooden door again, low and husky. The voice of a soldier who was used to being obeyed. Except this time his pride was broken and he was not in charge anymore. She was. After all he had put her through lately, it felt good. He didn't sound drunk, his words weren't slurred. He did however sound like he was in pain. Good. He deserved to be. Maybe she would just let him beg a little before sending him away.

Auggie put his palms on the side of the door, head lowered and looking down at the ground between his arms. He closed his eyes and let out a breath through his nose. He had expected her to be angry but he was hoping she would at least let him in. He spoke slowly and evenly, "Annie, please. I know you're still there, I can hear you on the other side of the door. You're mad at me, and you have every right to be, but I promise if you let me in I can explain everything." How could he sound so sure of himself even when he knew she never wanted to speak to him again? He seemed sincere, but that wasn't enough to make up for what he had put her through lately.

She opened the door purely to get rid of him. He was wearing a tight dark blue t-shirt and jeans that fit perfectly in all the right places which momentarily distracted her from her mission to break his heart the way he had broken hers. Then she remembered his cold detachment of the past few weeks and her anger came rushing back in full force.

"No, Auggie, I don't wanna hear it. You don't get a second chance. You don't seem to realize how much you hurt me. I let myself trust you, I let myself open up to you, and you just shut down on me. Just like every other guy in my life. Second chances never work, people don't change. You'll do the same thing to me again next time things get hard. So. No, Auggie, you can't come in, we can't talk about this, there's nothing to say, I'm done. Clear enough for you? Can you please leave now so I can get back to sleep."

"Annie. Stop." That was the tone of voice that Auggie used to order entire squads to do as he commanded. Calm, firm, strong. He was no longer begging for her to listen to him. This was the soldier Auggie, giving her no choice but to obey him. It was unfairly sexy.

Auggie took advantage of her lapse in anger to step into the room. He stood defensively with his legs at shoulder width and arms crossed over his perfectly built chest. She recognized that posture, he used it when training her to fight - his feet were firmly planted and no matter how hard she pushed he wasn't about to go anywhere. She turned her head away from him, looking at him caused her too many conflicting emotions.

Then he sighed and she realized that as much as his body language was strong and grounded, his eyes showed that he was hurting just as deeply as her. Every protective instinct in her wanted to wrap her arms around him and tell him everything would be okay. It was unbearable to see Auggie so close to breaking down. His body language was not that defensive for no reason, he was prepared for her to try to hurt him, ready for her to throw all her pent up anger at him. He was here and he would let her say whatever she needed to say even if it shattered him in the process. But once she was done he would still be there, and ultimately he would get his chance to explain.

She couldn't decide whether to slap him or jump him. He was making it really hard to hate him.

He stood there for a couple of minutes saying nothing. The room was silent except for both of them breathing heavily while cars drove by in the distance. She slowly turned back to face him, and her anger deflated. This was Auggie, her best friend, she couldn't stay mad at him for long.

"Auggie you really hurt me..." she began softly. Tears were already threatening to spill from her eyes no matter how hard she fought them.

"I know. Annie I'm so sorry. When they said you had gone missing I thought I was going to lose my mind. I hadn't let myself admit how much you meant to me. You cut through to the dark parts that I had tried to hide from the world, and even myself. I wanted to let you in completely. You're the first person who I've felt that way about since I went blind. You made me face my deepest fear - that if someone knew me fully they would not like what they saw. I've done some awful things Annie. The first year after I went blind... I did some things I still can't talk about. And then I pushed down the guilt attached to those events and tried not to think about them. But you... You made me want to be whole and complete again. I found myself driven to face my personal demons so that I could be worthy of you. And it scared me. It scared me so much I pushed you away, convincing myself that it was better for you that way - even though part of me knew I was hurting you. But I can't keep pushing you away. I've tried. My problem is, I love you. I know I've caused damage that can't be healed anytime soon, and I know I don't deserve another chance but Annie I'm sorry. I screwed up. Forgive me?"

Annie had melted inside before he had finished his first sentence. He still cared. Her heart did little somersaults of joy. But she couldn't just let him off the hook. How could she know he wouldn't push her away again. He needed to earn back her trust over time. She replied, "Look. Auggie. As a friend, sure, I forgive you, we all make mistakes. But it's 1am and you're telling me you love me after practically ignoring me for a couple of weeks. I just need some time to process all this." She gave herself a mental pat on the back for not jumping into his arms and telling him she loved him too. She was stronger than that. He would not get the chance to walk all over her. She needed to make sure he knew that.

"That's fine, take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere." Auggie's face showed disappointment that she wasn't ready to fully accept his apology, but he did look less miserable than he had when he arrived. He now had some hope that all was not lost. He put his hand on her arm spoke directly to her.

"We'll talk in the morning?" It was more of a statement than a question. Time to sleep on it. Good. Maybe she could make the butterflies in her stomach stop dancing. How did the mere sound of his voice have this kind of effect on her?

"Yeah. Goodnight Auggie." He lifted his hand off her arm, then turned and walked out the door, pulling it shut behind him. Her arm felt strangely bereft.

Damn him. It should be illegal to be that charming.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N Having trouble figuring out how to tie things up after the last chapter but didn't want to leave things hanging...any constructive criticism or suggestions would totally be great.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine at all.**

Chapter 10

Annie awoke to the sound of her phone ringing. A change from the usual iPhone alarm. Squinting at her phone she was momentarily confused to see Auggie's name on the screen. 1 missed call. Then she remembered his heartfelt apology of the night before and her face lit up in a smile.

Auggie. She had her best friend back. And if her memories of last night were more than a dream, there were definite possibilities for more than friendship.

In the privacy of her own bed she could let herself indulge in all the what if's and maybe's that had presented themselves when Auggie broke down in front of her last night, finally admitting how much he cared about her. Part of her had never stopped hoping that he still wanted her in his life, even while he was pushing her away. She knew her instincts were usually correct, she should have trusted them. All she had to decide now was whether or not she was ready to let herself trust Him. Auggie.

Maybe if he agreed to take things slow. Maybe. That was as high as she would allow her hopes to go for now. Maybe this time she would be able to maintain a healthy and balanced relationship. Maybe this time the guy wouldn't desert her as soon as she allowed herself to fall. Maybe this relationship would last longer than three weeks. Maybe it was possible to have an honest relationship not built on secrets and complications. Maybe Auggie would be the happily ever after every little girl dreams of growing up. Then again, maybe not. But as terrifying as the possibility of getting her heart broken again was, when she thought of the way her arm had tingled as he touched it lightly, she couldn't help but wonder if he would have that effect on the rest of her. She knew for a fact that there was a reason all the girls loved Auggie - he tried to pass it off as girl loving blind guys, but there was more to it. Probably something to do with his perfectly toned and taut arm muscles. And the rest of the body he usually hid underneath mono-chrome cardigans - she'd seen him shirtless more than a few times on missions and had never been able to resist staring. Not to mention that irresistibly charming smile. Yeah, there was definitely a reason every girl within a twenty-foot radius of him approached him and tried to get his attention.

The sound of her phone ringing again pulled her back to reality. She answered it this time.

"Morning Auggie." She couldn't keep the smile out of her voice. No, she wasn't going to tell him he was off the hook just yet, but on the inside she was not mad at him anymore. It was impossible to stay mad at anyone as charming as Auggie.

"I'm standing outside your apartment and I know this cafe down the road that makes really good coffee. Can I take you out to breakfast before work?" Those dancing butterflies in her stomach were back, it was absurd how he affected her.

"You just said the magic word. I'll be out in 10."

"Magic word...Breakfast?"

"Coffee. Clearly."

Auggie couldn't keep the smile off his face either. She didn't sound like she hated him anymore. In fact she sounded happy to hear from him. Making Annie smile was one of his favorite activities of all time he decided. He knew that they would have to cover some painful topics over breakfast. There would probably be some awkwardness, and rebuilding their relationship was going to take time. He could hear the hesitation in her voice behind her smile, she was still uncertain where they stood.

But he didn't get into the CIA on intelligence alone. His charm and confidence levels were also a major factor. He knew how to get a mission accomplished and how to gain people's trust, even when they were scared and suspicious. Annie Walker was more important to him than any field mission had ever been, there was more at stake for him than ever before. It was his personal mission to prove to her that he would never hurt her again. Now that he had admitted to himself that he was in love with Annie Walker, he would do whatever it took to earn her trust and consistent affection. Auggie smirked mischievously to himself, she might have built walls around her heart to defend herself but as a covert operative the walls didn't faze him. He'd simply find a way around them, under them, over them, or charm the gatekeeper into giving him the key to the door.

Annie opened the door to see Auggie standing casually on the footpath waiting for her. He was smiling about something he clearly found hilarious and she was immensely curious as to what the joke was. As soon as he heard her footsteps Auggie's smile grew joyous, but mixed with a hint of hesitance and nervousness. He was happy to see her but unsure of what her reaction would be.

His nervousness was her undoing. She had never seen him uncertain of himself around anyone else. Definitely not any of his one night stand rotation of girls.

As she walked towards him and he stood still, completely vulnerable to her, she realized there was only one question she truly needed answered.  
>"Auggie... I know I said I wasn't ready to let you off the hook but I just want to clear up one thing. Did you mean what you said last night... About being in love with me?" She looked up at him as she spoke her heart in her throat as she waited for his answer.<p>

Auggie didn't bother to use words to respond. Instead, he took one step and closed the distance between them, wrapping his strong, perfectly toned arms around her and pulled her to his chest. He had one arm snaked around the small of her back possessively, making the butterflies in her stomach go crazy. His other arm was further up between her shoulder blades, his thumb caressing her gently. She loved the way his shoulder felt so comfortable, like it had been carved into that shape especially for her to lean on. He smelled so familiar and manly; so...Auggie. She had missed him.

Auggie brushed her chin with his forefinger, tilting her head back lightly, then brought down his forehead to lean against hers. Not being able to see had not dampened his ability to express emotions through his eyes at all. As she met them she saw all the longing, pain, desire, and love he had previously been afraid to admit her felt for her.

She could feel air brush her lips as he breathed heavily, trying to figure out how to show her what he knew she would never believe if he just told her. He held her so tenderly, not like he was afraid she would break, but like she was the most precious thing in his world and he wanted her to be his forever.

After a few long seconds of deliberation, just when Annie was beginning to feel that if he didn't kiss her she would shatter, he slid his hand from her chin to the nape of her neck and closed the inch between them, kissing her gently and tenderly but with an edge of desperation that felt like he had been dying of dehydration and her lips were water found at the last possible second before he lost his mind.

All her defenses crumbled at the feel of his lips against hers and she felt herself responding, arms wrapping themselves around his neck of their own volition. It felt so natural and right to be kissing him. This was Auggie, they were connected in a way that no-one around them understood but everyone could sense. She felt his lips smile into hers as he registered her reaction, kissing her harder while his arms tightened around her, claiming her as his own for an all too brief second before pulling away gently. She almost whimpered at the loss of contact.

In a low, husky voice he asked,  
>"Was that a clear enough answer for you?"<p>

She playfully tried to push him off the sidewalk and he responded by laughing happily as he wrapped his arm around her waist tighter.

"Now, coffee?" Looking at the grin on Auggie's face Annie enthusiastically agreed. How could a girl say no to an offer like that?


	11. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Later that day Joan looked out at her department and a slight smile teased at the corner of her mouth as she saw Annie perched on the edge of Auggie's desk, eyes sparkling and face glowing happily. It was clear to everyone in the department that Annie and Auggie had dealt with whatever had been going on between them. For real this time, instead of just trying to pull wool over her eyes. Most people would have noticed the look of adoration in Auggie's eyes as he turned his chair in Annie's direction, but that was nothing new. Auggie's feelings for Annie had always been clear to everyone except Annie and himself. Instead, Joan's more discerning eyes noticed the way Annie was sitting slightly closer to him than usual, one leg swinging back and forth under his desk. That, and the way Auggie no longer had a personal "Do Not Disturb" bubble the size of a small aircraft hangar, captured Joan's immediate attention. They were back to their trademarked playful banter, carefully toned down for work, but with a slight undertone of something more that they could not hide even though they were two of the department's best agents. All these things combined to inform Joan that they had moved beyond the friendship stage of their relationship. It had taken less time than Joan had expected - perhaps they would have an easier time than her and Arthur had during the beginning of their own relationship - apparently their stubbornness was not as long-lasting. She did encourage interdepartmental dating but the relationship between these two would definitely require close scrutiny over the next few months. If they could maintain a stable relationship they could be one of the best teams the CIA had seen since her and Arthur. At the very least the entire department could now breathe a collective sigh of relief that the two were no longer fighting. They might even be able to keep new recruits around for longer than a couple of hours now that Auggie wasn't eviscerating them with his caustic sarcasm. And Stu might stop following her around begging her for any assignments that allowed him to be far away from Auggie's temper. Peace had been restored to her department.

As the blonde head of the DPD turned to sit at her desk the smile spread from the corner of her lips to the rest of her face. Auggie and Annie together. She definitely approved.

**A/N - Thanks for reading and for the reviews :) You guys have made me feel so welcomed here :) Also: Did the way Annie kept flirting with Ben throughout this week's episode drive anyone else crazy. Her finally turning him down at the end made me so happy I actually jumped off the couch and did a little dance. Well okay not quite a dance. But there was definitely cheering.  
><strong>


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